How To Tell Your Partner You Have an STD?

My Doctor Finder
September 22, 2022

What is STD?

Sexually transmitted Diseases (STD) are diseases transmitted through oral, anal, or vaginal sex. The bacteria, virus, or parasites that cause these diseases may be passed to someone in blood, semen, or vaginal and other bodily fluids. 

In the Philippines, the most common STDs are HPV, Genital warts, Genital herpes, Syphilis, HIV/AIDS, Gonorrhea, and Chlamydia. STDs have a range of different symptoms, or sometimes none, depending on the disease. However, these things are the usual signs to know when you should get tested:

  • Sores or bumps on the genitals, rectal area, or oral area
  • Painful, burning, or stinging urination
  • Unusual or odorous discharge from the vagina, penis, or anus 
  • Unusual vaginal bleeding
  • Itchy genitals or anus
  • Pain during sex
  • Sore or swollen lymph nodes, particularly in the groin
  • Lower abdominal pain
  • Fever
  • Rashes on the trunk, hands, or feet

Getting STD is not the end of the world. Although many of these diseases are lifelong, we can still manage them with proper treatment.

Can they cure STDs? Some of them are curable (i.e. gonorrhea, chlamydia, etc). However, it is still important that you tell your partner you have one. 


Why should you tell your partner?

After testing positive for an STD, it is important to let your partner. Even if your disease is already treated, you can still put their health at risk. 

You may feel worried, embarrassed, or scared to tell them, but it’s the least you can do to protect them. Letting them know can help them prevent the following problems in the future:

  • Getting infected with your STD and suffering from it
  • May cause infertility
  • Passing the STD to your future children
  • Reinfection
  • Concealing HIV-Aids can be grounds for annulment according to the Article 6 of the Family Code of the Philippines

Now that we have seen the reasons you should tell them, let us discuss how to tell them.



How to Tell A New Partner About An STD?

Whether you have already recovered or have an active STD, you must tell your new partner about it. Discussing it before intercourse is important because it shows that you care for their health and safety.

It is normal to be afraid they may judge you; it is a possibility after all, but you must brave it for their sake. Here’s how you can tell your new partner:

1. Meet with them at a comfortable and safe space. This is a heavy subject which is why you must tell them about it in a safe space. Doing it there can give both of you some privacy and prevent unsolicited opinions from unwelcome people.

2. Be honest and direct. Tell the truth, no matter how it hurts or embarrasses you. It is better for them to find out from your words than from discovering they have one after getting infected themselves. Also, you don’t need to give them all the context and background info and just tell them directly. “I want to talk about STDs because I have one and I would like to let you know,” could be a good way to start it.

3. Let the conversation flow naturally. Each person may react differently. Some may react with shock, silence, panic, or barrage you with questions. Let it proceed naturally and listen when they speak. If they have questions, be prepared to answer them.

4. Do not be defensive. Some of their reactions may offend you but do not be defensive. Everyone won’t be able to come to terms if both parties are upset.

5. Give your partner some time to process things. Hearing these may be too heavy for them. Be respectful and give them time to process everything.


Treatment Options: Testing, Medication, and Facilities

Getting an STD isn’t the end. If you’re showing STD symptoms or are worried you have one, visit your local health department, community clinic, private doctor, or family planning clinics for testing. But if you want to do it more discreetly, you can visit the following clinics and get tested for free:

  • Philippine General Hospital
  • Batasan Social Hygiene Clinic
  • Klinika Bernardo
  • Mandaluyong Social Hygiene Clinic
  • San Lazaro Hospital
  • Love Yourself Anglo
  • Love Yourself Uni
  • Love Yourself Welcome
  • Victoria By Love Yourself
  • Lily by Love Yourself
  • Etc.

After testing, follow the doctor’s instructions on what to do. The treatment will depend on the STD. Early detection and treatment will reduce the burden of STDs.



Informing your partner about your STD is a responsibility. It may be awkward or hard depending on the situation but it is the right thing to do. 




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