For numerous individuals, embarking on a fresh start often involves relocating to a new location, be it a different city or an entirely different country. This monumental life shift is often associated with the urge to leave behind every negative memory associated with the place they currently reside in.

An adage says that you cannot heal in the places that hurt you, and while that can be true for some people, moving away is found to be a temporary escape from bad feelings, according to psychology. For others, this impulse stems from deep-rooted trauma and serves as a coping mechanism to flee from distressing emotions. 

The road to overcoming trauma is rough and challenging to go through. So, individuals must process their experiences more healthily and consciously by practicing strategies that will help them heal.

In this article, you will explore how this phenomenon occurs and learn how you can heal from your traumas.

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Moving Away as a Trauma Response

In a now viral short video by Licensed Mental Health Counselor and intuition-based therapist Lauren Milo, the urge to flee the life that one had to start all over is a type of trauma response. Milo explained that if one had a traumatic experience, it is entirely possible for the mind to take over the body and create the urge to move somewhere, physically, in an attempt to escape uncontrollable and often destructive emotions. However, this response is not effective in the long run and can even extend the healing process.

“You cannot outrun the sensations of the body,” explained Milo. 

According to the book Trauma-Informed Care in Behavioral Health Services, moving away is just an act of avoiding it to alleviate unpleasant emotions, memories, or circumstances. At first, avoidance helps, but over time, anxiety grows, making the situation feel more dangerous and unbearable, which leads to even more avoidance.

Flight as a Temporary Escape

Boston-based psychiatrist Bessel Van Der Kolk shares in his book called “The Body Keeps the Score” that there are two adaptive responses to traumatic experiences—both of which are basic to human survival: 

1. A person’s initial urge is to run away from these experiences, thus becoming an agent in his own rescue. But when they reach safety and their body is calmer, they make sense of what happened.

2. On the other hand, traumatized people, after running away, feel stuck because they can't adapt to new experiences. They perceive every new encounter or event as tainted by the past.

People with the former response find healing difficult because their space is a reminder of pain, resulting in moving away. Removing yourself from environments with remnants of the past and starting fresh in a place without a trace of trauma is freeing. But in reality, unresolved trauma tends to follow wherever one goes.

People coping with trauma often try to escape their problems by relocating, or what is called “geographic curing,” believing that moving to a new city or state will fix their issues, including addiction and other issues. However, according to the American addiction recovery organization 12 Steppers, people with trauma should work on their inner challenges and build healthy coping skills instead of depending on external changes to fix their problems.

Recovering from trauma requires facing triggers, memories, and emotions without avoiding them, gradually becoming less affected by them. The goal is to confront and deal with problems instead of avoiding them.

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Heal and Move Forward

Moving away can be beneficial in some situations but shouldn’t replace the healing process. In modern therapy, overcoming trauma requires facing past pain through therapies like CBT or EMDR, seeking support or therapy, and building coping strategies that don’t depend solely on external changes.

Here are some ways to help you in your healing journey:

1. Accept and Be Patient

Healing requires acknowledging your emotions and allowing yourself to fully experience them. Be patient with yourself and know that recovery is not linear. Give yourself time to heal without judgment.

2. Exercise and Mindfulness

Be physically active and engage in exercises that move your arms and legs. Don’t focus on your thoughts; focus on your body's sensations and movements.

3. Practice Healthy Habits

Eat healthy meals and get sufficient sleep. Explore other healthy coping methods, such as creating art, listening to music, journaling, meditating, practicing relaxation, or spending time in nature.

4. Lean on Others

Connecting with other people might be difficult, but it is vital for your healing. You don’t need to talk about your traumatic experiences. Their presence can relieve the traumatic stress that you are feeling.

5. Seek Professional Help

If your feelings are unbearable, seek help. Consult a mental health professional, preferably a trauma specialist. It is the bravest act you can do for yourself. 

Facing Your Fears

Each individual experiences trauma differently—some fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. Dealing with trauma can be challenging, but avoiding it won't resolve the issue; confronting it will. 

Your emotions are valid, and you are not alone. Moving away and isolating yourself for some time is normal, but dwelling on the wounds will not heal them. Seek help and talk about it. 

Taking steps during your healing journey might be challenging, but it builds emotional resilience, so relocation is a choice rather than an escape.

If you or someone you know is suffering from trauma and needs help, you can contact the following local hotlines:

National Center for Mental Health (NCMH) Crisis Hotline:

Nationwide: 1553 or 1800-1888-1553 

SMART/TNT: 0919-057-1553

GLOBE/TM: 0917-899-8727 & 0966-351-4518